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  best client quote yet  
  disegnare   |   posted 10-19-2000 08:37 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

So I'm working on this site and when I originally met with the guy he like drew out the front page as a big block and broke it into sections and told me where to put things (basically he was playing designer for me). So I do the front page and I try to make it look nice and sort of edgy. This is the feedback I got from them a few hours later.

"please follow original instructions. we don't want this page to look tricked out or computer generated..."

fucking brilliant.
Can anyone beat this comment?
I seriously doubt it.
  Snailbite   |   posted 10-19-2000 08:42 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"our web site doesn't load if I turn javascript off ... please fix this"

*sigh*
  No Joda   |   posted 10-19-2000 08:57 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"I need more pesshht peesshht chuttt chutt papapapa on this animation"

that is a direct quote
  skaw   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:01 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

e-mail to client:
the functionality of the quiz is done. you can check it out <here> ... note that this is only the functionality and the interface does not pertain.

client's response:
i am not too sure about the interface, i like the colors, but it is too geometric.

  Kraken   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:02 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

from today:
"We don't think it's communicating the message effectively, maybe if it said _______."

Kraken
('So now you're a copywriter,' Kraken thought.)
  toastedkitten   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:02 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"i want our side bar to look exactly like amazon's. oh, here i am gonna send it to you, just use it...and then maybe make it kinda pastel, i hear that's the new thing now, to make things look feminine.
I want the same font as useit.com uses, that guy really knows what he's talking about!!"


:) no kidding.
  niksah   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:12 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"can you guys make it more like a power-point presentation, you know, with the sliding text stuff and all?"
  James Hephen   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:16 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Designer: "We should probably talk about the look and feel of the Web site before we get to work. Just explain how you would like it to look..."

Client: "Well, I don't think we really want it to look too much like a Web site. You know what I mean?"

I looked at my partner who was about to burst into laughter. I didn't know what to say except "Okay".
  jaimes   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:27 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"i checked with a friend and they said there definitely IS a rainbow effect in photoshop, why did you tell us there wasn't one?"
-shit, busted
  Akt Two   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:35 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

now not the client but the tech said this..(he was in the meeting to)

"well I dont like pages who has loading when u get to the website, I dont want' to haft to wait"


dumb people
  liquids   |   posted 10-19-2000 09:56 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

early club design client:

"more fonts. use more fonts!"

"ummm... how many do you want?"

"how many do you have?"
  matthew   |   posted 10-19-2000 10:08 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

client comment:
"We love it like this, we were wondering if we could change the font and the color, and can we move a few things around?"

client comment:
"Please also put a landlord hat on the landlord."
  totee sip   |   posted 10-19-2000 10:40 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"Can you make that logo chrome? Or like use that emboss effect so it looks metal?"

sigh.

And someone who I worked for (very briefly for apparent reasons):

"Yeah, it'll be cool to do this construction company's site 'cause we can put those 'under construction' signs all over. Like with the little guy digging."

But, I'm sorry... I just can't beat "Put a landlord hat on the landlord". That's great.

[This message has been edited by totee sip (edited 10-19-2000).]
  matthew   |   posted 10-19-2000 11:01 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

client comment:
"We love it like this, we were wondering if we could change the font and the color, and can we move a few things around?"

client comment:
"Please also put a landlord hat on the landlord."
  epoch   |   posted 10-19-2000 11:21 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

WOW! totee Sip's post split Maetthew's double post in half!! AMAZING!

oh yeah, I dont have a job so none from me. But these are great. keep em' coming.
  Walkman   |   posted 10-19-2000 11:35 PM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Client:
I just don't understand why this Flash cost so much. I mean, I can do the same kind of animations in PowerPoint. Why can't we do something like in PowerPoint. It seems pretty simple to me.

(The PowerPoint line kept coming up over and over again)

Those of you with a background in print wil get a giggle from this. Another client from the same company but on print work always marks any hyphenated words on proofs as *widows*.



  eccesignum   |   posted 10-20-2000 12:10 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

In a meeting the client rep told us to "think outside the box" and "make me uncomfortable". He quit the week before the site launched. Guess we made him too uncomfortable.
  cinder   |   posted 10-20-2000 01:11 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

roflroflrofl

mine's not nearly as exciting.

Client wants another page not in the specifications or agreement. I tell him so, and that I don't think it would be a good idea anyway.

"Oh ok. I'll just do it myself."

[This message has been edited by cinder (edited 11-18-2000).]
  Picard   |   posted 10-20-2000 01:23 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

A recent client my company got.

Client: "We want a website that can play DVD quality video, but we don't want to use streaming video and the load time must be zero."

Designer: "That's impossible. Everything has a load time. DVD quality runs about 100 megs a minute."

Client: "We'll take our business elsewhere..."

  apartness   |   posted 10-20-2000 01:31 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  


How much time have you got?
  Duckstah   |   posted 10-20-2000 01:31 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

A Client of the company I worked for rang up and asked us to make is possible for her to change 'everything' on the site.

Now in most circumstances thats fine with a basic page. But this site was one of the most advanced ones we had done at that stage using high end DHTML, a huge amount of Javascript etc.

Her justification for us turning the site over to her hands was that she "knew some html"
  oxygen   |   posted 10-20-2000 01:49 AM profile   |       |   edit  

Client: Do you really think people will pay you more than $500 for website?? I can get one from IBM for $499, I saw it on the commercial...

me: Be my guest, but when you come back I'm going to be doubling our fee.

Client: (gave me the finger and left)

me: Opps!

Boss: That probably wasn't the best way to say that.
  leo   |   posted 10-20-2000 02:01 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Friend of the Client standing over Client's Shoulder (playing sensitive visual designer-for-a-day): "But the eyes are not drawn, are not drawn! It does not sweep, does not sweep!"

This was demo number 16.

LEO

[This message has been edited by leo (edited 10-20-2000).]
  enue   |   posted 10-20-2000 02:02 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

i did this intranet site for mercedes benz at my first job..and the last thing i had to work on..was a tutorial for the computer illiterate people who were gonna be using the intranet....

anyway...

they had 6 minutes of audio voice over...and it was fully animated...

this was right when flash 4 came out...so..whatever...i did a decent piece...

except...

they wanted this shit to play with the flash java player... ...which is only compatible with flash 2....telling me this...AFTER i finish the flash 4 version...

...i found a manual for flash 2.to see the features..and had to take everything out that wasn't flash 2 compatable..which was like most of the presentation...

all because they didn't want to pay someone to go to all the dealerships and install the flash plug in...or none of their employee's had the common sense to go to a link for the plug in..and hit yes, yes, yes, okay...

well..this wasn't a dumb comment..but it was a dumb request...and yet another case of when i suggest something to a client...they turn it down..then..2 months later realize i'm right and change what they do...

like a month after i left that job...i got an im from one of my co-workers at that company asking if i knew where the intial flash 4 version was that i did..or if i had a copy of it because they decided to install plug in's...but i wiped my harddrive before i left and took all my shit that i did with me...cuz the ceo of that company was a dick...

[This message has been edited by enue (edited 10-20-2000).]
  sheipr   |   posted 10-20-2000 02:05 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"i want it tuesday"

it was monday.
  goddessness   |   posted 10-20-2000 02:15 AM profile   |       |   edit  

come on Axium, how about the client that wanted their site glossy like the brochure? how about one of my clients who wanted the site on CD to give out to their target market because they might not have access to the net??????????????? it was a kinda portal!
  slane   |   posted 10-20-2000 03:06 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"Can't we make the text blink?"

<blink>argghh!</blink>
  Merlot   |   posted 10-20-2000 03:48 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

I'm kind of worried about a new variation on yada yada yada I've been hearing...

Client to one of my designers about the comps he'd done: "Well, can you make it a little less...I don't know...a little less Yada Bodda Bah?

My designer repeating him in a monotone: "A little less Yada...Bodda...Bah..."

Client: "Yes, exactly! I'm glad you know what I mean."

I'll know Monday whether we took out the yada, the bodda, or the bah....
  Picard   |   posted 10-20-2000 03:55 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

goddessness having a site on CD is not unreasonable...
  Duckstah   |   posted 10-20-2000 04:13 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Picard, I think the point was that they wanted it on CD because their target market may not have the web. When the site itself was actually a portal, that was basically useless without the web.
  d3hm   |   posted 10-20-2000 04:14 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

I designed a pretty cool site but the client wasn't happy with it and had to think about what he wanted. So a few days later we got this paper in the mail with all cut and glued pieces of colored paper and a logo glued on it. Wow... lot of design from me was in that site.

I hate all the people who always have to tell us designers what has to change in the site and make the design all tacky again. WE ARE DESIGNERS, WE KNOW WHAT WE DO... d3hm!
  d33   |   posted 10-20-2000 04:42 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

yeah, but ok big fallible admissions time... who's ever provided classic quotes to their clients?,, not being from a traditional design education there were a few gaps in my knowledge,, a couple of years ago this client is asking me to increase the line spacing between navigation elements,, me, trying to get scientific, technical, justify my lack of spacing,, mention "what we refer to as leading" 'cept i pronounced it l eee ding ,, see i only knew the term through reading it on screen, and didn't actually know the historical reason,,
she, being ex-print, schooled me,,,
  onreturn   |   posted 10-20-2000 05:03 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

"less creativity, bigger pictures"
  Alemsah   |   posted 10-20-2000 05:08 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Here is the first :

Client : I saw your flash and html demos and the 3d commercial that you prepared, firstly,"I should say I dont believe that web design is a form of art",and what you create is a kind of "bad art" .You shouldnt create those,our agency will inform you about design just use the instructions which will come from them, and create the site...Isnt it what the webdesign for ?
Also, please dont design!They will do it for you!

(This person is the CEO of the company and this company group's other CEO are hating him.)

Me:hýmmm, we dont have to do it together, you know ?

At that moment,all the other CEOs and my collagues are red because they cant hide their laughter....

Second:

client : This is the site, we dont like the design that other firm did, we ask you to change the whole site...
Me: Ok.
Client : in 6 days
ME : What?
Client : Yes , please dont use vignettes ( little icons,graphics) dont use to much picture.Make it like www.msn.com
ME : hýmmm....

Site adress is : www.porttakal.com
MSN : www.msn.com

We are still working on the new version
:)

[This message has been edited by Alemsah (edited 10-20-2000).]
  toastedkitten   |   posted 10-20-2000 07:00 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

no other thread has made me feel so much better about my job. ilove u guys. i do. i really really do.
*sob*sniff*sniff*
  dik   |   posted 10-20-2000 07:41 AM profile   |   email   |   edit  

Corpotare ID Logotype Concept:

Client: Could you do another 20 Versions?

Me: By Tomorrow?

Client: Yeah!

Me: Erm it's going to be tight (not to mention look shit).

Client: Why's it going to take so long? All you have to do is put the parameters/varabiles/colours in, the computer will do the rest...

He serioulsy thought the computer, renders Logo's based on permutations I feed it...

If only...then my job would be a lot simpler

[This message has been edited by dik (edited 10-20-2000).]
  Van Der Larson   |   posted 10-20-2000 09:18 AM